


reasons

by foolishclown



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Mentioned Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Toby Smith | Tubbo, Mentioned Wilbur Soot, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, big tw, very very very dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:34:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29693001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foolishclown/pseuds/foolishclown
Summary: Tommy lists his reasons.Someone else lists more.
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo/TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, tommyinnit dream
Comments: 4
Kudos: 113





	reasons

**Author's Note:**

> TW TW TW TW for suicide. it’s dark. 
> 
> i love you 
> 
> also yes there is a reason why the thoughts switch between third person and first person

Tommy stood in front of the various objects laid in front of him. 

So many options. So many ways for this to end. 

A knife. Pills. A rope. Even more pills. 

_ Why do I even want to do this so bad? _

_ My life isn’t that bad. I have a family that loves me.  _

_ Phil. Wil. Techno.  _

_ They love you.  _

...

_ No, they don’t. You just burden them. Cause more stress, cause too much noise, cost too much money. They don’t need a worthless kid. They have their own problems. _

...

_ But I have friends.  _

_ Tubbo.  _

_ That’s it. You have one single friend. _

_ A single friend who you don’t do anything for. All you ever do is influence him to do bad things or fuck up his day. He would be so much happier without you always around yelling.  _

He picked up the pill bottle. It would only take one of these, right?

_Nikki_. 

_ She’s always been like an older sister to me. How would she feel is she lost her little brother?  _

_No._

_She doesn’t care about you, idiot. She just takes pity on you. Of course she does, look at yourself and how absolutely miserable your life is._

The lid came off with a pop. 

_Ranboo_.

_ He would hate to see me go.  _

_Not very much, though. All you do is annoy him too._

Ten down. Forty more to go.

No use turning back now.

Thirty more to go. 

_ Wilbur will finally be able to practice music in peace.  _

Twenty more to go. 

_ Techno finally won’t have to baby you in sparring matches.  _

Ten more to go. 

_Phil won’t have to deal with your stupid meltdowns._

All gone.

He glanced to the second bottle. 

_Dream_.

He froze in place. 

_ Dream would miss you.  _

...

_ No, no he wouldn’t. Dream doesn’t really love you. He doesn’t really care about you. It was just a lie. One that you wanted to believe so bad you made yourself believe it.  _

...

_ But he does. He cares so much. He said so. And he never lies, not to me... he would want me safe... _

The second lid clattered on the counter. 

Fifty more to go. 


End file.
